My mother should be relieved that this how my mid-life crisis is expressing itself. The artist who put this on my arm is Maery Contrary of Montreal.

This coming Saturday, I will be competing in the Once Upon a Slam storytelling competition in Ottawa. I only found out that I was a competitor last month when Marie Bilodeau and I did a show in Ottawa and Ruthanne Edward stopped by to tell her tales as well. It's going to be quite an honor to share the stage with so many talented storytellers.

So I'm preparing my stories for that night, but I'm faced with a dilemma. There are two rounds, so the storytellers are expected to prepare two 5-minute stories. I have a new story that I'm confident will win over the crowd and the judges, but I'm not sure when to use it. Should I use it in the first round so that I make it through to the second round, or should I keep it for the second round to boost my chances in the final round?

I'm also torn on what my second story should be. I'm tempted to use the story that won me the competition in November, but what if the judges heard that story the last time? Should I go with two new stories? The story I told in November is always well-received, but what if the judges feel that I'm not being original or creative enough?

Argh.

After jumping through a few hoops, I found myself invited to speak on a panel at Can-Con in Ottawa this past weekend. The panel wasn't exactly what I expected, especially since the topic of it had changed from what I had originally agreed to speak on to a topic I knew virtually nothing about. Rather than bolting, I figured I could wing it just by listening and eventually adding my own two cents, although I had the distinct impression I was flashbacking to my CEGEP days in Seminar class when I hadn't read the material that was to be discussed.

So the topic had changed from "Paganism in Canada Today" to "Pagan influences on Speculative Literature". I know... quite the shift in focus, eh? The panel was to discuss how pagan culture and themes had influenced modern sci-fi and fantasy literature. Of course, we had to spend a good 20 minutes defining paganism, which if we had not reigned it in, could've taken over the entire hour and maybe even part of the next day. The worst part of that panel was when on of the panelists turned to me to ask "So Hobbes... who are your favorite pagan fiction authors?" To this, I completely blanked (although I was tempted to say Gerald Gardner and Aleister Crowley, just for the shock value) and babbled that I didn't read fiction based on the religion of the authors or if the book had pagan themes in it. I could see the audience questioning what the hell I was doing on this panel in the first place, which at that moment was an excellent question.

But as the discussion moved on, I did get some insight on the topic which allowed me to disagree with the other panelists. It was unfortunate that it took almost 40 minutes of this hour-long panel to figure this out, so just as we were getting into the meat of it, the next panel was chomping at the bit to get their talk started.

Personally, I don't think that the modern pagan culture influences mainstream fiction in the slightest. Our community is still too much on the fringe to have that much impact on the mainstreamers, as much as our collective egos would enjoy it.

That's not to say that sci-fi/fantasy literature doesn't employ pagan themes, but I don't think they come from our us. Unlike many other religions that have a central doctrine that radiates outward, pagan culture is de-centred, constantly in flux, and reflects the concerns of the generation. It employs a healthy amount of cultural appropriation which allows its practitioners to explore and incorporate themes, symbols, and traditions from a culture they cannot call their own.

If there are any pagan themes in modern sci-fi/fantasy literature (and there are most definitely), they come from other ethnic cultures and philosophies that are centrally defined by geography, race, and environment. Modern sci-fi/fantasy literature and modern pagan culture both borrow (and at times grave-rob) from these established ethnic cultures and philosophies to define and explore their topics and ideas.

While a pagan can read a book and recognize themes that are common within pagan community culture, those ideas are not coming from a modern, North American, neo-pagan culture, but rather from the same source that the pagan himself is either cherry-picking directly or indirectly from other pagan authors.

I've posted a new story for July on my blogcast "Shortening the Road". You can listen to the tale of the Samurai and the Teamaster at:

http://shorteningtheroad.blogspot.com/2010/07/july-story-samurai-and-teamaster.html

I don't think I've posted it here yet about my latest CD called "The Bard's New Hat", but now I am. This CD contains eight tales that I've recorded over the past two years, featuring the guitar-pickings of shaynealexis and one tale told by sarahcarotte .

I'll be hosting an official CD Launch at Hurley's Irish pub on July 25th at 19h30 and selling the CD ($10 each). This will also be the last night I'll be replacing Mike Burns whlie he's away on vacation. Mike will be back telling tales at Hurley's on the last day of August.

You can read more about the CD on my website
You can read more about the CD Launch on my blogcast

I hope we'll see you on the 25th of July!

Today is my birthday and I'm 41 years young. I know I've said this a few
times, but whatever I thought my 40s would be like, they're really not much
different than most other parts of my life. Sure, my bones are creaking a
bit more now and I don't have as much energy as I did in my 20s, but that's
mostly due to having to carry these 50 extra pounds around my middle.

My birthday gifts this year are spectacular. The first half of my gift from
Sarah was a box of decaffeinated King Cole tea. Sarah got me hooked on the
stuff shortly after she moved in with me and it's really become my comfort
tea of choice. The problem is when I want to cuddle up with a warm cuppa at
night, which usually results in laying in bed with my eyes screwed open for
hours. Decaffeinated King Cole tea is practically impossible to find in the
grocery stores: you must order it directly from New Brunswick, which she
did, Gods bless her.

The second half of my b-day gift was going to see Stuart McLean at Place des
Arts. If you don't know, Stuart hosts the Vinyl Cafe on CBC, which is a
mixture of stories and music. Stuart's storytelling is different from mine:
he writes and tells original stories about Dave and Morely, a fictitious
family that live in Toronto. They are fabulous stories and I've been a huge
fan for years.

The live show at Place des Arts was recorded and should appear on CBC radio
in two weeks or so. The musical guest was Montreal's own Patrick Watson;
after listening to two of his pieces, I was hooked and bought his CD at the
intermission. About a month before the show, I wrote to Stuart and said that
I would be attending his show for my birthday, that I was a storyteller
myself, and would he be open to me telling a tale on his stage? His producer
wrote back promptly with regrets that folktales didn't really fit in the
format of the show, but it was worth a shot. Still, I had prepared a piece
in my mind on the off-chance he'd ask, but he didn't. Ah well... maybe I'll
have a chance to perform in Place Des Arts someday.

But there was a moment in the show that caught me by surprise. In the second
part of the show, Stuart was recounting is own stories about growing up in
Montreal and how, in 1962, his friends went to see Bob Dylan perform at the
Finjan Club on Victoria Street. Stuart went on to say that this show was
recorded by Jack Nissenson (from the band *The Mountain City Four*) and has
become one of the most sought-after bootleg CDs today.

I was bowled over for several reasons:
1. Jack is one of my dearest friends and we were meeting with him that night
in Chinatown
2. I own this bootleg CD. It is truly one of the finest bootleg CDs I've
ever heard (you can clearly hear Jack and Dylan chatting throughout the
show, even as people slowly left before his show was over).
3. I'm pretty sure Stuart learned about this show, bootleg CD, and about Jack
from a Wikipedia page <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/jack_nissenson> that I
wrote.

After the show, Sarah and I invited Stuart to join us for supper with Jack
in Chinatown, but he declined because he already had plans to have supper
with his mum.

Amazing weekend! Thanks be to Sarah for making 41 so memorable!

I hope I have covered the main points, but if I'm missing anything, please
let me know! Also, keep in mind that I will be covering Bardic, Dancing,
Nudity, Drumming, and Photographs as separate topics.

==============================
2. Firepit Etiquette

One of the main attractions at pagan festivals is the firepit. As with the
ancient people, the presence of a fire naturally draws people together,
creating instant community (just add wood!). What happens around these
firepits greatly depends upon the people, the program, and sometimes the
weather.

What you can expect around a firepit is as follows:
* conversation and socializing
* bardic performances (singing, dancing, poetry, storytelling, etc.)
* dancing
* drumming
* ritual
* discussion
* all of the above
* none of the above

The firepit should be a safe place where everyone is welcome to share in the
fire's heat and light. This shared experience creates a bond, but it is
everyone's responsibility to maintain it. The firepit is a magical place
where friendships are forged, beauty is celebrated, stories are shared, and
where laughter reigns supreme.

But a firepit is also a surprisingly delicate environment. It can be easily
distroyed by ego, rudeness, carelessness, or even physical danger.

Potion Bottles
==================
As with many outdoor pagan gatherings (such as festivals), there may be a
wee bit of alcohol making the rounds. Pagans tend to be quite generous in
sharing their grog, but you should always wait for the offer rather than
raiding someone else's cooler. But because many people walk in their bare
feet around a firepit, especially when it is covered in sand, you should
NEVER bring glass bottles to a firepit. No matter how careful you think
you're being, it's very easy for a glass bottle to shatter and sow its sharp
seeds into the sand, and more importantly, into people's feet.

Discarded glass bottles are also a danger because it's easy to trip on them
or even shatter them with your feet. Leave your glass bottles at your
campsite and out of foot-traffic's way.

Transfer your festive potions (alcoholic or otherwise) into a plastic
container (like a water bottle or travel mug) before you approach the
firepit. You may want to identify your potion bottle in someway to
distinguish it from all the others (after a few potions, everything starts
to blur together).

It's also a good idea to bring a water bottle filled with plain, refreshing
water. Dancing around a hot firepit can dehydrate you in a hurry, especially
if you are being constantly libated with mystery alcoholic drinks. Pacing
yourself with water ensures a safe evening and a (relatively) pain-free
morning after.

Firepit Romance
===================
Pagans are an affectionate crowd, but sometimes the firelight can raise more
than just the body temperature, if you know what I mean... *waggling
eyebrows* Please keep in mind that the firepit is a social gathering where
everyone is enjoying the same space in friendship and community. If you are
connecting with a new found love, or rekindling an established flame (pun
intended), please take your public displays of suck-face affection away from
the firelight and to someplace more private.

No one is saying that you can't be affectionate with a friend, but not only
does overt sexual expression shut everyone else out. It's distracting,
uncomfortable to watch, and even harder to ignore.

Once you make that connection with someone, go for a walk and enjoy their
company without the prying eyes, allowing the rest of the people to enjoy
the fire rather than your firey passion.

Firekeepers
==============
Most firepits have a firekeeper, which is a person in charge of keeping the
fire bright, strong, and hot. Firekeepers also maintain a level of security
around the fire to keep the people safe. In recent years, some firekeepers
have also taken on the task of keeping the fire dancers hydrated by having
drinking water on hand.

Firekeeping is more than just tossing the odd log onto a blaze. There is
skilled technique at work, there is strategy, and there is a living
relationship being forged between the fire and the firekeeper. The
firekeeper creates the fire, tends to it lovingly for hours, and
extinguishes it when the celebration ends (sometimes as the sun is rising!).
Some might even see firekeeping as a sacred ritual being performed with the
fire and firekeeper as the only participants.

Unless the firekeeper says otherwise, only the firekeeper is allowed to feed
a fire. Just as you would not give candy to a child you did not know (or
whose parents you did not know), you should not poke, prod, or throw
anything into a fire without the firekeeper's permission. The sacred fire is
not a place for your garbage, no matter how pretty its firey consumption
might be. Aside from upsetting the delicate balance that the firekeeper is
trying to maintain, it can also create sudden sparks and floating embers
that burn, scald, or set others alight.

If a firekeeper asks you for help, be honored by the request and do your
best to help. Don't be afraid to thank the firekeeper for his quiet, yet
essential role in the evening's festivities. Enjoy the firelight, enjoy the
fire's heat, and respect the firekeeper's responsibility in creating that
sacred, magical space.

In response to a fellow pagan's post on unacceptable expectations in pagan social behavior, I've decided to try to write Pagan Etiquette Guidelines on a variety of aspects of community life. This is my first draft on this topic, so I welcome feedback!
==========================

If you look around at a pagan event, there's so much hugging going on that you'd think a full-body hug was the equivalent of a handshake. Mainstream society's view on hugging reserves it for close friends and family, but in pagan communities, a hug can be a welcoming gesture or even an attempt to reassure others that this is a place of safety and trust.

But in truth, a hug is a form of affectionate greeting that is reserved for friends, not the population in general. There are appropriate and inappropriate moments to give a hug, and unfortunately, a hug can be intrusive and even abusive if projected onto another person without
permission.

If you've never hugged someone before, don't assume that because that person is pagan, or that the person has hugged others, that he/she is ready to hug you. Hugging involves such closeness that some people can be very picky with whom they're comfortable to be that close.

1. If the person throws their arms out, inviting you to hug them, feel free to accept the invitation.
2. If you're unsure, start with a handshake. If the person leans into you to hug you, feel free to accept the invitation.
3. If it's just a handshake, smile, look the person in the eye, and say something positive.

Unless you know the person very well, and you have a history of hugging with this person, DO NOT grab them by the body and pull them into your space without permission. Also, keep in mind that hugging does not give you free reign to kiss the person or fondle any part of their body that has nothing to do with the hug. A hug generally lasts about 2 to 10 seconds.

If you are not comfortable with being hugged, you have every right to have your boundaries respected. However, it can be difficult in the excitement of a moment to let the person who is trying to hug you to know that. A graceful way of side-stepping an unwanted hug without creating a scene is to grab an incoming hand as a handshake, using your other hand to hold them back by the
shoulder. Try to smile, maybe whisper "I'm not into hugging, thanks", and move on. It gives the other person a chance to recover gracefully and no feelings are hurt.

If the person persists on pushing through with the hug, push them back harder by the shoulder, which should throw them off. If the persistence to hug continues, push back, get out of it, and state firmly that you are not into hugging. If the persistence still continues, call out for security.

If you are the person who has launched an unwanted hug, pay attention to other person's body language. If they draw back, have their hands up, or have a frightened look on their face, change your stance and take them by the hand instead. You can easily recover from this faux pas and and save face, but you need to put respect of the other person's personal space above your need to unleash your love upon the world at large.

Above all, don't get insulted if your hug is rebuffed. Try to be gracious in your misunderstanding. No one is obligated to accept your hug, and if you think they are obligated in some way (because you're a great person, you're a celebrity, you're of the opposite gender, you should be bonding on your common ground, etc.), you're going to find yourself in a very bad, very lonely place eventually.

It can be difficult to know when hugging or handshaking is appropriate, but if you're unsure, stick with the handshake. The choice to hug or not to hug needs to be respected and not used to identify who is more pagan-than-thou. It all comes down to respecting a person's boundaries and being gracious when etiquette mistakes are made.

I'm about to release a new CD of stories that I've recorded called "The Bard's New Hat" and I'm trying to figure out how I should market it.

Off the top, I would say that the stories are family-friendly, but there's one story that has an element that may put some people off. In the story "Brahma and the Brahman", there is a character that lives her life as a prostitute. I don't go into graphic detail about her business, but I'm wondering if just mentioning this occupation in this story puts the whole CD out of the Family-Friendly category.

I'd rather not remove the story from the CD, but I worry that it might be irresponsible or unethical to sell the CD when I know children will be listening to that story. How big a deal do you think this is?

Update: Listen to the story here.

Seeing as it is Easter Sunday for many people, I've decided to post my version of Oscar Wilde's classic tale The Selfish Giant. As I recall, I would often watch the animated version of this story around Easter, so I always associate it with Spring. You can read more about the animated film on Wikipedia or watch it on YouTube.

The same production house (Potterton Productions) also produced The Littlest Mermaid and The Happy Prince. I really need to learn the Happy Prince someday.

I told this story to a small audience at Cafe 92 Degrees in Montreal during a show called 92 Degrees of Foolishness. It was a great night of tales and music and I thank everyone who was able to share that evening with us. The magical, mystical Shayne Gryn can be heard providing the music ambiance.

The Giant's Garden